Special K and Magic Shrooms
I didn’t have a sense of humor. I developed that in my teens when I observed other people laughing freely. I regarded that with curiosity. It felt like a strange thing to experience something and immediately know how to respond. I copied my friend Kazzie’s laugh for a long time, and everyone loved it. Everyone loved her. She’s still very lovable.
I used to laugh at what others laughed at to see how it felt in my body. It felt good, so I laughed as much as possible. In my junior year in college, a guy said, “You have a low humor threshold.” I don’t think he meant it as a diss. I think he was stating a truth as he saw it. I laughed less after that because I felt embarrassed.
Now, I cultivate my tastes and examine things closely before deciding whether or not it’s for me. Often, I won’t know. I hate not knowing. I’ll obsess until I know, but of course, obsessing over it robs you of the ability to encounter it authentically and spontaneously.
I’m considering ketamine therapy as my next phase of healing, but I’ve received a message from my subconscious that I need to pay attention to my dreams. I’ve neglected that because it’s hard, very hard and I’m tired of feeling confused and like things are unknowable. But dreams are knowable and most often, if you really want to solve your outer problems, the answers like there.
I’m trying to figure out how I make money without coming unglued.
My mother worked overtime to make it so I’d never make any money. Devouring mothers devour everything. They destroy your brain’s capacity to function at a higher level.
Trauma impacts the way connections get made in your brain. Yoga, therapy, meditation, vigorous exercise, and eating well help thin out the old, intractable, fear-based responses to allow positive feelings to emerge. And when those modalities aren’t enough, and you have nothing left to lose, low doses of psychedelics can help.
A study conducted by Yale researchers revealed that a single dose of psilocybin (the active compound in magic mushrooms) led to an immediate and long-lasting increase in connections between neurons in mice. These connections occur at specialized…